السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
Reason for the hibernating?
A number of reasons. Having been adjusting with many unexpected ups & downs after 5 years of comfort life (1998-2013). Allah is Great, alhamdulillah. He lays down so many colours to our path of life; some are bitter, some are sweet, some are painful; some are wonderful. He surely puts us in in a situation, a condition that we would not feel complacent or comfort. Life since then, has been always about selflessly serving the nation, the people in needs in many forms and phases.
My husband is a pragmatic & calm person who accepted the unexpected path with a big heart. I guess he had all his life witnessing how papa Mi and even arwah Mok serving others relentlessly. Serving others as a teacher or murabbi or politician are not new to him. But I took some time to absorb, to learn, to feel comfortable and redha with all sacrifices that I have to make in order to accommodate the new diversion to our then plan. Wallahi, it is not easy.. but when we accept all His plan to us with an open heart, somehow there is a peace inside.
How worried I am with whatever unexpectants (sorry I repeatedly use this word because I used to manage my life with certainty; you know a program-coordinator kinda person with Plan A, B till Z, hahaha!), Allah SWT always shows us a way out miraculously. As repeatedly reminded by my husband,we are doing God's work, we never plan this present route rather it's totally a diversion from our original plan (always.. I feel like screaming aloud, huhuhu!) .. so inshaALlah, Allah will protect us, have faith in Him and the Day of Judgement.
So here I am, perhaps starting to adapt quite well now with our destiny.. hopefully, may Allah SWT continuously give us the strength & patience like those who were before us, aminn.
What makes me continue writing now?
This is a very very very relevant question to ask myself. What am I doing now? Haha. I guess, I have to. Writing makes me think. Thinking awakes the inside of me. And that would make me alive, motivated and stay sensible with what I am doing now, hahaha! Writing, thinking, pondering of the surrounding issues have been a part of my life for decades; it gives meaning & self-satisfaction. What more, I don't have the luxury of time now to do research as much as I really wanted to; so blogging would do, at least not allowing my brain to freeze!
I am now on a 1-year unpaid leave till January 2018. Hmm, but really I am only off from lecturing & making the assessments only. It is sooooooo not easy to maintain the motivation with the homey-kinda environment that I need extra brain-exercise to bear with my forever responsibility as Master/PhD supervisor, thesis examiner, journal reviewer and book editor. I tend to forget many deadlines now, huhuhu! Terrible right?
On the other note, I feel this platform is suitable to share my humble thoughts of various issues that we encounter everyday in our present capacity. InshaAllah, I will maintain my professionalism & amanah as the murabbi and da'ie regardless of whatever you may think of me as a spouse to a young politician. Indeed, I feel very tiny & humbled.
InshaAllah, will continue again. Cheers!
A cup of tea to make your day!