Our PhD and the Sponsor Story

A long, long time ago, when information was limited, unreachable, and often unclear, I missed many sponsorship opportunities although I was listed among the nation’s best SPM achievers. At that time, I simply followed the path chosen by MokAyoh for me to read Laws and Shari’ah at IIUM, and I went with the flow.

Receiving my LL.B

Like most of my batchmates, I was offered a convertible JPA loan that covered tuition fees only. Daily needs, books, stationery, and other expenses came from what we fondly called the "FAMA” source ~ father and mother 🫣

As law students, we spent a lot on photocopying case reports and thick textbooks. Original books could cost five times more than photocopied versions. It was still better than fighting for the limited number of textbooks at the red spot section or applying for inter-library loans just to get books from other libraries in the country. 

In our batch, nobody obtained first-class hons and therefore nobody had the loan converted into a full scholarship. Instead, those of us who graduated with second-class hons were required to repay only 25% of the loan. Only now do I realise that the percentage coincidentally matched the 25% of us who were affected, hahahahha!

Masters in Laws

For my Master’s degree, I applied for a MARA loan. From that experience, I learnt that MARA was very considerate and compassionate in its collection process. As long as we communicated and showed commitment to repay, even with as little as RM50 per month, they were willing to consider our situation.

At that time, I only managed to repay properly 5 years later, after completing my PhD and having the financial ability to pay. But the most important lesson was ~ we must communicate with the sponsor. Sponsors are often willing to consider our circumstances as long as there is honesty, commitment, and proper communication.

During the final semester of my Master’s study, I joined the Kulliyyah as a permanent staff member, subject to the completion of a PhD for confirmation of service. That was why, soon after that, I proceeded to pursue my PhD.

And this was where our main story began.

My husband had joined the Kulliyyah a year earlier. Together, we planned our study leave under the SLAB-JPA programme. We left for the UK at a very sensitive time;  just 3 weeks after the 9/11 incident, when global Islamophobia was at its height.

 

The Malaysian Government closely monitored Malaysian students abroad to ensure their well-being and security, and also to prevent any possible involvement in activities linked to terrorism. Government-linked sponsors such as JPA and MARA temporarily put on hold the sending of students to universities in big cities with large Muslim populations, such as Birmingham and Manchester. 

This affected me personally because I was supposed to register at the University of Manchester at that time. However, due to the restriction, I had to search for another alternative university and suitable supervisor, which eventually caused me to defer my PhD registration for another 6 months.

Students who were suspected of being associated with certain activities or societies, especially those seen as potentially threatening to the UK or Malaysian governments, risked being called home. We witnessed some of our colleagues being instructed to return to Malaysia simply because their spouses were active in certain politically associated activities.

Then, in the midst of completing his dissertation, my husband received the same kind of letter.

We were called home.

2 return air tickets were issued for us.

We had to drop everything we had worked on.

Just like that.

We immediately reached out to our employer and sponsor, seeking an explanation. The answer given to us was shocking. My husband’s name was allegedly on the Bukit Aman list as someone considered a potential national threat. Because of that, he was not supposed to be allowed to leave the country. They had only managed to trace us after we had already been abroad for almost 1 year.

We appealed and appealed ~ to IIUM, to JPA, and finally to the Prime Minister’s Office, with the advice and support of the Rector. May Allah SWT reward Almarhum Professor Emeritus Tan Sri Dato’ Mohd Kamal Hassan, who fought for us and supported our appeal. 

 We submitted all necessary proof, including our study progress and my husband’s distinction grades for 2 consecutive semesters. We showed that we had never been involved in any activities that could threaten the nation. On the contrary, we had been fully focused on our studies and research. 

  

Alhamdulillah, our appeal was eventually considered.

However, our SLAB sponsorship was suspended for a period of time. For several months, we survived on only around GBP250 per month, after converting our monthly IIUM salary into British pounds. Few months later, the SLAB sponsorship was resumed.

My PhD supervisors; Prof Seif & Prof Presley

Fast forward 3 years later, both of us GOT (Graduated on Time) and returned home to serve and give back to the country. We were grateful. We had many plans and hopes. We wanted to do our very best to serve in our capacity as PhD scholars. Our tagline had always been:

“Hidup Biar Berjasa” (Let life be lived in service)
“Hidup Kami Milik Ummah” (Our lives belong to the ummah)

 

Campaign to Tumpat islands

But no matter how perfectly we plan, we often forget that Allah plans too. And Allah had planned that my husband’s service was needed elsewhere; not in the classroom, not in conferences, not in academia, but directly among the people at the grassroots.

Less than 3 years after completing his PhD, my husband left IIUM to contest in GE12 in Tumpat. As a result, he faced legal action from the sponsor, who claimed compensation for breach of service contract because he was bonded for 10 years.

He lost the election. 

He was unemployed for 3 months. 

Then came the final compensation claim from JPA ~ nearly RM300,000! It was a huge sum for us, especially as newly graduated PhD scholars who were only beginning our academic careers. In today’s value, that amount would probably feel almost 3 times heavier. It was not merely a number on paper; it was a financial burden that affected our life that time.

He appealed for a reduction, but what was granted was only a longer rescheduling arrangement with lower monthly repayments. Eventually, the repayment was deducted from my monthly salary.

I once asked my husband, “Why didn’t you reach out to the Prime Minister, the one who invited you to contest?”
He answered, “I am a losing candidate. I do not want to burden him or the party.”

 Despite this, he repeatedly reminded me that we still had so much to be grateful for. He would list Allah’s blessings one by one. He believed that as long as the intention to serve was clear, Allah would prepare other platforms for him, and for us to continue serving, even if not as an MP.

The rest is history.

For the record, alhamdulillah, before PRU14, we managed to settle all our financial liabilities, including the compensation for breach of the SLAB contract. By Allah’s grace, we achieved our financial freedom by then.
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Yes, each of us may have a different PhD journey. The details may not be exactly the same, but many of us share one common experience:

We know what hardship means.
We know what endurance means.
We know what survival means.

The SURVIVAL is real.

That is why, during the PhD journey, we must learn to FOCUS on finishing and REACH OUT for help to our supervisors, employer, family, friends, and especially to our sponsors. 

A PhD is not only about intelligence. It is also about endurance, communication, humility, discipline, and faith.

For those who are still struggling, especially those facing sponsorship issues, family pressure, work demands, financial difficulties, or emotional exhaustion, remember these 3 tips:

💗P ~ Progress, Not Perfection. 
 Avoid being too perfectionist. Do not wait until everything is complete before you start writing. Do not wait until all data are collected. Do not wait until your ideas are perfect. 

Start writing now, even if you only have 10% of your findings. A page written today is better than a perfect idea that remains only in your mind. Your thesis can be improved, edited, and refined later. But you cannot improve an empty page. Progress, no matter how small, is still progress.

💗H ~ Hold Your Momentum
 Set realistic deadlines according to your current routine, work, health, and family responsibilities. Break your PhD into smaller stages; one section, one table, one paragraph, one reference, one correction at a time. Do not completely stop doing anything related to your PhD. 

When you feel down, tired, or out of ideas, do small tasks. Arrange your folders. Tidy your workstation. Update your references. Rename your files. Clean your table. Print your draft. Prepare your next to-do list. If you need to pause for a while, leave a note for yourself:
- Where did I stop?
- What should I do when I resume?

This will make it easier for you to return to your work. Reward yourself for small achievements. Buy yourself an ice cream after completing one page. Go for window shopping after submitting a chapter. Celebrate every small progress because each step brings you closer to the finishing line.

💗D ~ Du‘a, Discipline, and Don’t Be Alone
Pray. Make du‘a. Ask Allah to ease the journey, open the way, strengthen your heart, and bless your time. 

At the same time, maintain discipline. Motivation may come and go, but discipline will carry you through when motivation is weak. 

And please, do not be alone. Connect with others. Reach out to your supervisor. Speak to your sponsor. Talk to your employer. Share with trusted friends. Seek help from those who understand. No problem is without a way out.
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Sometimes, the difficulty you are facing is Allah’s way of giving you a new skill ~ patience, negotiation, communication, resilience, financial planning, time management, or simply the strength to begin again.

So keep going.

Focus.

Reach out.

Finish.

One day, no matter how long it takes, you will reach the finishing line, inshaAllah. And when you look back, you will realise that the hardship was not meaningless. It was part of the training. It was part of the story. It was part of the journey that shaped you into the person Allah wanted you to become.

We pray for you, always 💐

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We brought home 2 phDs (GOT~ graduate on time) signifying our commitments to the nation and 2 babies as new additions to Dusuki & ARIHAH clan :)  Well, you see how young Bik An was and still be. What happened to the time?