Affan's School Journey

 Déjà vu.

Watching Affan receive his SPM result slip yesterday, my heart was filled with déjà vu. 

I have a different soft spot for Affan.

There were many significant moments surrounding his coming into our lives, from the time I conceived him, through his early years, and even beyond.

He was the first child I conceived after completing my Ph.D, and having him here in Malaysia. In many ways, he became my LLBS deadline 😄~ my strongest motivation to complete my LL.B (Shariah) within just 2 semesters, all while juggling my academic responsibilities.

Affan was also the only child whose postnatal confinement I experienced under Mok’s exclusive care in Kota Bharu, a period I truly cherished.

But that calm did not last long.

Soon after, I had to join my other half in the PRU12 campaign (Tumpat), when Affan was still so young (35 days). That phase was not easy for both of us. I struggled with breast milk overflow, physical discomfort, and the demands of constant travel. The strain even left me with lingering pain in my left leg, something I still feel until today.

When Affan turned one, I had to leave him again. This time for Hajj. For two weeks, he was deprived of breast milk.

I still remember the night of Arafah. I could not sleep. I opened his photo on my Nokia phone… and cried through the night.

SubhanAllah… the longing of a mother.

And yet, when I returned, he waited for me, and continued nursing as if no time had passed 😄

He was deeply attached to me.

Despite having a close age gap with Kakak and Azzah, he never seemed to feel deprived of UmmiAbi’s attention. Perhaps that is why he grew to be emotionally strong and independent, yet quietly affectionate in his own way.

Speaking about education , each of our children has their own unique learning journey, even though they grow up in the same home, with the same values and environment. And that is something I’ve come to deeply appreciate over the years.

I remember, long ago, being a young, inexperienced yet very occupied mother, juggling roles as a homemaker, home manager, and planner, while my career was also on the rise. I was constantly at a crossroads, trying to balance priorities. At the top of that list, always, was our children’s education.

Different child, different personality, different strengths. Each requiring a different approach. It added so much to an already full plate.

Then Mok reminded me of something I will never forget: be realistic. As a working mother, it is almost impossible to be perfect in everything. Know your strengths, and know your limitations.

That realisation grounded me. I am not a wonder woman who can excel in everything.

So I studied the situation. I sought help and support.

At home, we focused on creating a conducive and peaceful learning environment. We did not force our children to study, but we consistently reminded them to be responsible for their work, to honour their commitments, and to take accountability when they fell short.

But above all, we prioritised solat and the Qur’an.

Solat must be in congregation. Meals must be together.

Mok once said: teaching children to know Allah and understand their religion must come first, with no compromise on solat and the Qur’an. Memorising the Qur’an is a bonus. Once these foundations are strong, everything else will fall into place.

Perhaps that is why our children can be a bit “hero tak gaduh” when it comes to studies 😄, but the beauty of it is, they genuinely enjoy the process of learning, no matter how stressful school life can be.

Coming back to Affan.

He was among the earliest to speak clearly, forming small sentences at a very young age. Mature beyond his years. That was why we enrolled him in kindergarten as early as 3, and he adapted beautifully.

At 6, we transferred him to Tadika Chim, while many of his friends moved on to SK. In the following year at SK, he grew, showing strong leadership and sporting talent. He represented football and archery up to the state level. And Affan… he has that soft, lemak-lemak voice, such a gift.

We sent him to learn tarannum at Masjid Kg Baiduri. We hoped he could memorise Juz 30, combining hafazan and tarannum, becoming an asset for Tahfiz and Tilawah competitions like his abang and kakak.

We had planned the same path. Secondary school in sekolah agama.

But the 2nd pair, Affan and Azzah had their own minds, their own dreams. Sekolah agama was not their path.

Still, alhamdulillah, all our children remain 'anak-anak yang taat' (obedient).

In Form 1, although his heart had long dreamed of SAS, he accepted Abi and Ummi’s decision to enrol him at SMAP Labu. And there, he bloomed beautifully.

He achieved so much.

The highlight was becoming National Champion for Nasyid with the Soutul-Jihad team. His voice, his adab, his leadership all refined and nurtured there.

We thought he had let go of his SAS dream. But quietly, he still held onto it.

At the peak of Form 3, when SMAPL had placed great trust in him academically, co-curricularly, and in leadership, he voiced his dream again.

That was when I had to go against Abi.

I knew it was time for us to honour our son’s dream.

But the path was not easy.

There was no inter-SBP transfer policy. The only way was to move him to an SMK and reapply for Form 4 SBP, with no guarantees. No promises.

Affan was willing to take that risk.

Even if it meant finishing and sitting in SPM in SMK.

So Ummi climbed every staircase, from PPD to JPN, doing everything possible to open just one door.

Eventually, he was transferred to SMK Damansara Utama. And true to his nature, not only he made a handful of new friends (adding to the lists for hari raya 😊),  he even stepped forward to lead the DU nasyid team, proving once again, wherever he goes, he contributes.

Then came the Form 4 SBP application, the PKSK exam (again), and the long wait.

The offer came.

Second choice: STAR.

That was when Ummi used her final ticket, appealing online and by hand, with all my heart.

I once asked Affan:

“Are you sure you can survive as a newcomer in Form 4? You might feel isolated.”

His answer left me speechless:

“Ramai kawan-kawan SAS tunggu adik masuk situ. Kalau pergi tempat lain nanti, mereka kata adik betrayed them.” 😬

Looking back over the past 10 years, especially the final 23 months, and the intense weeks leading up to SPM and beyond, we saw something priceless:

He is content.
He is grounded.
He is happy.

Because he is finally where he belongs.

And for that, we are deeply grateful to Allah SWT, for guiding every decision along Affan’s journey.

To all his teachers; from kindergarten to SKTS, SKKT, SMAPL, and finally SAS ~ thank you for your dedication and commitment

To the SAS community: Ustaz Nor Azam, Ustaz Syed, Teacher Shitah, Cikgu Azie, and many others ~ thank you for shaping him.

To all parents, especially fellow mommies, ibu, and ummi, thank you for sharing the joys, the worries, and the butterflies. Parenthood is lighter when the journey is shared.

To all 5B comrades and Fighters 2125, thank you for accepting Affan as one of your own.

As parents, on behalf of Affan, we sincerely apologise for any shortcomings along the way.

Thank you for correcting him with wisdom, guiding him with patience, and embracing him with kindness.

Let us continue to live by our motto: “Hidup Berjasa.”

We humbly seek your prayers for Affan and his friends, that Allah grants them strength, wisdom, and barakah in their future studies and life journeys.

Ameen. 

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